why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
