I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize