Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
This is my gift to your gina
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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