So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
