is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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