Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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