ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
