Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
