I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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