Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
