He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize