It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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