to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
