Pants 0. Shit 1.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
