I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
