At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so that wasnt chicken after all
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
