I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
