i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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