Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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