We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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