I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
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He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize