okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
