when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My liver just had a heart attack.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
