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My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
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