I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
