Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Wow word travels fast.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went