Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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