There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk