you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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