no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
