and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
