Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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