did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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