Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
