Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Randomize