Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
