you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
