Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize