The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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