Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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