yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
