either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
