Soap is not a condiment
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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