I look better un-naked...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
