I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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