He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize