I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
