Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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