Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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