carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
