I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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