I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
