I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
