we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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