so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
