Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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