similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
