Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
