Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize