he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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