OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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