I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
