you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
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I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
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If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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