Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
