therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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